Oh, and don't forget Simon's Cat! (Click Here and Sound On)

http://www.youtube.com/user/simonscat

Millhouse: I've just rediscovered this old blog of Herky's and am amazed to find there are still visitors who read it, so I thought I'd better bring the world up to date. Sadly my old buddy Herky passed away in September 2011 at the ripe old age of nineteen and a half years...and for quite some months it was evident to all that I missed him greatly. After about six months I began to get on with my life, having gained full control over the Two Leggses. I got all the attention(and pouches)a puss could ever want......that is until in May this year when a new incumbent suddenly arrived. A skinny, black, long-legged, whipper-snapper of a youngster who pays me scant respect for all my years of experience; steals my food, chases me and is a better hunter than me to boot. Maybe, when I've got important matters of the pecking (I mean licking)order sorted out, I'll tell you what's going on!

Hello...been a bit dozey of late!

It's been hot and, whilst sleeping in the sun by the kitchen sink, I suddenly remembered my blog! Good heavens, I've got a blog! I had a quick wash while trying to think where it might be. The little window with the mousey thing, I thought. Well, it took me some time to work out my password but here I am,back in blogsville!
Now what's been happening in the two-legses' world......

Simon's Cat - Snow Business (Turn sound on) and click here!

Another brilliant cartoon not to be missed!

Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas!

Since Christmas the two-legses have been disconcertingly active indoors. On Christmas day there was first the crinkly sound of paper to disturb my sleep, followed by the wafting odour of roast turkey and then, heaven knows why, the bipeds started leaping about in front of the television. Mr two-legs pulled a muscle because of this and spent the next day watching Mrs two-legs doing step exercises. It was something to do with wees. Now, I always thought weeing was a cat's daily duty and one that should be done expressly outside, but they were playing with wee indoors and being particularly flamboyant about it too!

I folded my arms and watched from a safe distance, probably with my ears back and certainly a disdainful look on my face. On top of this disruptive behaviour, there's been the weather outside. The vacating of bowel and bladder where one has to find a suitable garden spot to fashion out a make shift toilet are often difficult enough at the best of times but at 5 degrees below....I'm afraid it has to be an on the surface operation amidst much steam, in a hurry and without ones normal dignity. Don't look back old boy, the steam will subside, I think to myself and make haste for the cat-flap.

Who would have thought the two-legses would have chosen such a cold day to be hard hearted. The cat-flap seemed as though it was locked! I couldn't get in! I bashed and shouted.

"Wait a minute!" called Mr two-legs from inside, "It's frozen shut, old fellah."

He bashed it from his side and eventually it flipped "bonk" into my face. That made me so cross I gave it a good shove back at him. Well, pretty soon we were playing Wii table tennis with the flap and Mr two-legs, so into playing Wii games, began shouting out the score. "Your serve," he called excitedly whilst peering through the frosty aperture. I served.... and I got him! "Clonk!" right in the face just like on the Wii! Now he's got a black eye as well as a pulled shoulder muscle.

Is there a catch the mouse game on the Wii, I wonder?

Herky

Roofless Thieves!

There've been men about this week;
Yes, strangers in our garden!
They turned up early thursday
Without a 'beg or pardon.'

Noisy men they were
Took off the garage roof
And threw it on their lorry
One had a missing tooth.

We watched them from the house
No one else was home
The bravest one who stayed outside
Was Fred the garden gnome.

When they'd gone off down the lane
We inspected with dismay
How were we going to explain
What happened here today?

Old two legs will blame us
Said Millhouse, with wide eyes
We're supposed to guard the house
Not watch and stay inside.

Pooh! sneered Hercules
He sat and looked aloof.
The only theives that I know of
Wouldn't steal the garage roof!

Roofless; the garage is brighter
But much wetter in this rain.
Better hope those men return
And put roof back again!


Herky

Sunday. Another Day Of Rest!

It's raining, it's pouring
Old Two-legs is snoring.
He went to bed when we'd been fed
And couldn't get up in the morning.

Old windy's outside the window. He seems to be vigorously shaking a thick rubber blanket and throwing grit against the glass in the early morning darkness. And so it is we're sat about staring forlornly at inanimate kitchen items. Waiting. Waiting for something to do. Waiting for the rain to cease or for Old Two-legs to appear; to give us cause to spring into action. The presence of catiness prevails in all its warm furry rumbling hungry tension. The atmosphere is charged with feline anticipation.

Enter Two-legs
Two-legs: Oh, no! The committee's here. Holding counsel are we? Good day, oh wise ones. What great deeds have you decided are to be enacted today? A race round the house, a poke about the dark corners of the junk room or a sleep in some inappropriate cardboard box?

On this occasion we maintain our furry silence. Some things are best kept secret. However, we do gaze between our vacant bowls and Old Two-legs with rounded shoulders. The more dejected our appearance, the sooner the pouch will be produced and slopped before us.

Two-legs: Here you go you two piglets. Get that down you.

The licky slurping begins;
Winter's on its way.
When we've finished washing
We'll while away the day.
In some damp old box
Or maybe on the stairs
Perhaps on the dirty washing
To cover it in hairs.

Herky

Take That!

Sir Millhouse is a fellow of greed.
If I'm not there when it's time to feed,
He casts furtive glance from left to right
Eats my bowl first, the cheeky mite!

Then, when I stroll up to eat my share
The bowl is clean, there's nothing there!
Sir Millhouse, at's own bowl, all slobbery
Says, "Herky, there's been some daylight robbery!

Your meal's all gone, I'm sorry to say
The thief ran off...'Went that away."
Thinks me a fool, that naughty cat
Thinks I, well we'll see about that!

Later,on the flagstones.

Sir Millhouse, (dropping a mouse upon the ground before himself).:
Once again, I have been out on the hunt,
From across the road I bring back lunch.
I shall eat it soon when I've finished boasting,
Perhaps Two-legs-pouch-face'll give a roasting.

Lord Hercules:
I'll not forget, my food you stole.
Licked it from my serving bowl.
Methinks that mouse should be for me,
Fair's fair I say, so that's my tea.

Lord Hercules deftly picks up the mouse
And disappears round side of the house.

Sir Millhouse sits with eyes of dismay.
He's pinched my mouse and run away!
Oh well, I must just wash this paw
Then pop indoors and ask for more.

Herky

A Mid-Summer Night's Prickle!

During those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer; those days of snoozing and mousing and burrs, there was much rustling and snorting neath the bushes in the nightime garden.
Sir Millhouse and Lord Hercules are sat upon the flagstones listening intently.

Sir Millhouse: Hark my lord! There it is again! Tweak thine sharp ear t'ord y'on Hoster. 'Tis a scary sound, doth, no doubt, foster the coming of some midnight monster!

Lord Hercules: True, it is of an eerie nature portending of some unknown creature. Think you we should cut and run or wait awhile? It may be fun!

Sir Millhouse, with a worried look, shuddered a little and shook his foot. The rustle gets louder and more intense. A shadow is seen against the fence.

Sir Millhouse: See there, my Lord, I glimpsed a little.
His fur stood up. His backbone prickled.

Lord Hercules: Ay there it was. Now crossing the lawn. 'Tis round and pointy; horse-chesnut form.

Sir Millhouse: Yes, it stops and munches. Slugs and snails methinks it crunches. Yuek! I can think of better lunches.

Lord Hercules, curiosity tickled, creeps up upon the thing of prickles. He looks quite closely, to find a face. It takes a while to find the place. Then they both jump; a great surprise, finding themselves set eyes to eyes. He holds out a paw of cordial greeting; an ambiguous cat-sign of a friendly meeting.

Lord Hercules: Ouch! There was no need of that for I'm a friendly pussy cat. I don't think that we've met before. Pray tell your name, and mind my paw.

Snout: No, we've not met. My name's Snout. Now please excuse' what I'm about. There is so much to be done and I can't keep talking to everyone.

He snuffles off under the Wisteria, leaving both their lordships feeling a might inferior.

Lord Hercules: Well, Sir Millhouse, what an encounter! He was curt, arrogant; the cheeky bounder! He pricked my paw without being sorry! How different it would be were he warm and furry!

Sir Millhouse: Hmmmm! Methinks that's true. Not many get the better of you.


Herkspeare

Simon's Cat - Hot Spot (Click Here)