Buttons and Bottoms

This is Millhouse last Christmas. Cutie isn't he?
Have you got baby humans in your house? Well, I had once but they've grown into big things now.
Anyway, as a bit of advice, I should stay just out of reach of their little pudgy hands. They're usually warm and sticky for one thing, and they don't stroke you nicely. They sort of grab mini-lumps of fur in their little fists, then gurgle and dribble a lot. Enough to make your ears go back in dismay, ain't it?

Once, one of the little critters developed a curiosity for my....for my bottom! Now that's a personal bit of me which I reserve for quiet moments and is certainly not for humans to mess about with. While I was nonchalantly passing by, this particular human baby aimed his pudgy finger directly at ....it, and pressed it like an elevator button. I was so surprised (and offended) I ran a hundred metres faster than a lynx. Much to my chagrin, my family now call it my turbo button.

Just thought I'd mention it for future reference. Now Wash Your Hands, please!