Of Food And Smells

I was having my usual daytime winter snooze yesterday when a familiar distant sequence of sounds brought me rapidly to my, not so nimble, walking sticks. Yes, 'num num' time had overtaken me without my realising it. Now I hope all you young pusses out there have worked out which kitchen cupboard your owners use to store the 'belly filler'. You know, those mysterious containers of cat 'nums' which have travelled home in their wheelie thing. By the way, when you know which cupboard is used, it sometimes helps to sit staring blankly at the door if you fancy an extra top up. ..worth a try.
Also, you must get to know that sequence of sounds which precedes the bowl filling ceremony. I'm so good at it I even know which cupboard door is being opened from anywhere in the house! ..takes years of fine tuning. Millhouse the newcomer (of a mere 3 years experience) still hasn't quite got it right. He runs to the kitchen every 30 seconds whichever cupboard is opened! 'Dumb cluck!' Methinks. I'm not walking all the way out there just to watch them make a cup of coffee.
With practice you'll even get to know whether a pouch is being opened from left to right or vice verso. Now that's what swivelling ears are for. We ain't daft folks!
Sometimes, just to get us from under their feet, they'll dish up those dun looking crunchy bits; hurling a pile of odd looking tooth breaking pellets into the bowl in a slovenly manner without looking you in the eye. They may quietly sneer, 'that'll do yah!' Well, if desperate, I'll eat them, but at other times I'll take umbrage at such attitude and walk off in disgust! Don't be afraid to show them what you think!
We do have another secret weapon which is not much talked about. It helps if you can fine tune this particular skill too. What is it? Well, you probably already do it but don't realise. The answer is erm..silent ones . They slip out from your back end offering an almost imperceptible feeling of pleasure. Poof! Believe you me they certainly liven things up. The humans flare their nostrils and keep saying, 'pooh!' They react as though there's a wasp flying round their heads. Who'd have thought such light little wisps of gas could make any human leap in the air playing windmills. A good reaction for so small an effort, eh? And an excellent way to take command of the settee if you want it all to yourself. Take note.
Humans do have this latter facility also. However, they give the game away by producing a deep derogatory sound announcing its arrival. Plenty of warning for us to decide whether to stick it out or saunter off. I like to stick out just to show them how tough I am... good job we're born with a fixed smile on our faces, isn't it?

Ooops! I've just heard that cupboard door again so better be off.

Happy Pussmus to all my readers - and beware if you see Brussels sprouts on the dinner plates. It means battle will soon commence!

Herky