"..don't know why there's so much fuss about black holes!" I heard Mister muttering to himself over the newspaper. He must have been reading about the new Large Hadron Collider which they're about to switch on in Switzerland. (Well, yes you see I am quite aux fait with current affairs even though I may appear to be asleep for much of the day. My ears are ever receiving data.)
"We've had a black hole in our house for the last 16 years!" He said more loudly looking in my direction.
I turned my head away and shifted my sleeping position a little; bracing myself for the predictable direct personal remark.
"It's most assuredly black and has a voracious appetite for anything and everything that circles past it's bowl." He went on; making sure I could hear.
"I can't believe it requires 5 million calories just to maintain the state of a sleeping giant!" He forced a cough.
I sighed and stretched out my back legs with such effort my toes spread and exposed my claws momentarily.
"They're hoping to discover what happened just after the big bang." He continued. Goodness me, I thought, there's more? Get it off your chest, man! I'm trying to get some shut-eye here!
"Says here the experiment will cost millions." He went on. It was followed by the sound of pencil scribbling on paper for a few moments. "I reckon it'll take about 60 pouches at a cost of 19p each er... that's £11.40 to create a big bang in this house!"
Cheeky blighter, I thought. I knew what he was getting at.
"Hmmm," he tutted thoughtfully, "they have to photograph the event for analysis to find the answer as to how the universe came about." He decisively raised an index finger. "Right!" Then standing up in the manner of a man about to earn the respect of all mankind, stood up and strode purposefully across the room.
Oh no! I rolled over and put my paw over my nose. I heard him rummaging excitedly in the sideboard drawer.
"Ah, here 'tis! He sang out triumphantly. He waved his digital camera over my head in a 'this'll teach you' kind of way and set off for the kitchen. Sounds like I'm in for a very large lunch!
Herky
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