Oh no, not Boris!

Spot The Difference
(My reaction to hearing the name Boris on tv)
In the winter I watch the world on my mini-tv, but today it's warm and sunny.....
"Gooten haben!" said our local boring Boris as he padded sloth-like past our back door. He's an English Grey, I think, but his owner is a 'German hooman bean so he has acquired a heavy accent. "Ze wezzer iz goot mitt ze sun out, ja?" He muttered sleepily. He has a big round fuzzy flat face and wanders the world ponderously. His nose is so flat that, when he peers through our patio window, his soulless eyeballs are as equi-distant from the glass as his nostrils.
The back door was open and I was sat on the step smartening myself up for a garden saunter.
I took little notice of Boris's drably uttered greeting. Besides, I'd just had a scrummy fishy lunch and was far too busy applying the oily oderant behind each ear and smarming my whiskers. 'Pity to waste a good smell when you can keep it wafting around your nostrils all afternoon with a generous smearing! 'Gives one an air of fishtinction, so to speak!
A nice sunny day, with just a little breeze and the lawn, green and freshly cut under the cherry blossom; just the sort of day for inspecting a few plants round the ol' constituency. With Millhouse safely curled-up out of the way in his currently favoured spot I took a relaxed meander.
When I come across a newly flowering plant, it either gets a sniff of approval, or is mentally noted as yucky, and may receive a couple of swipes if there's anything buzzy on it. The cat mint is a favourite, of course. It sends a quiver down my spine. I flop over and my paws start kneading the air. Purry bliss!
I took a couple of kittenish zig-zags a cross the lawn and then flopped under the fir tree.
I don't know where Boris went. I expect he had an important appointment down the lane. He's never late even though he travels at a snail's pace! It's a German thing I'm told.
He's the very antithesis of the Boris I heard mentioned on the news today. That's why my ears went back! I could swear he said, "Thank you for voting for whatever it was I was standing for and, when I find out, I'll jolly well give it back to you!"

Pussy cat, pussy cat what news have you then?
I've been up to London to vote for old Ken.
Pussy cat, pussy cat why the blank stare?
I saw Boris Johnson voted Lord Mayor!


Herky