"Is this a fan heater I see before me?" Trembled Millhouse in the night. "Out! Out damned spot heater!"
But no, t'was but a figment in his mind as he sat before his bowl remembering the last three weeks.
Hubble, bubble.
The boiler's been trouble.
Now the hurly burly's done,
And the boiler battle's been lost...and won!
Yea, I say, t'is typical, be it not! Just when the coldest weather moves off apace, thy white box repaired be and heat once more is spread with grace.
I'm just lolling on the bed in the winter sunshine dreaming of days of yore.
Millhouse, who at first thought the snow exciting, grew tired of shaking an icy paw at every step and is also happy now to foray in greater comfort; and with more speed! Indeed, this morning the cat-cullis flipped open and in he swaggered with his ruff ruffled and a hunting gift a-jaw
which proudly he laid on the kitchen floor....at the feet of our master.
"Look what I bring from my sojourn abroad. The goodness of the undergrowth has fortuitously gifted me a mouse. I beg you, take this a gesture of friendship for thineself, my lord." He bowed gracefully, "Pray know ye that for myself, I have a preference at this time for a product from yon distant pouchery; supplies ofwhich I have seen many times retrieved from this nearby kitchen cabinet. So!" He strolled across to the door in question.
"Pray, would you be so kind as to quell this hunger, sir?
I will pay you later with my friendly purr."
"Indeed, o'ye young forager," said the master, "Your wish shall be attended upon, without further ado.
For t'is true, fair exchange is for the best
and you have justly earned your quest."
With a sweep of his arm, he bowed in acknowledgement. The mouse he swiftly gobbled up (aye, but in the dustpan). Breakfast was duly squigged with a ceremonious flourish and thus food partaken with greedy relish. Chops were smacked and much gruff chuckling, gagging and merriment ensued. After some contained belching, appetites were found to be amply sated.
Civility resumed, and beds awaited. (I have made use of some licence here!)
Having damped down his ruff with gravy licks, Millhouse nay, Lord Millhouse spoke to me in hushed tone, "I've heard tell that Birnham wood is soon to march on Dunsinane. We must prepare at once to defend our home."
What evil is afoot? No one knows.
Well, he's always had a penchant for a good sturdy cardboard casket.
That is to say, he enjoys a good box or basket;
If it's been set down for any purpose other than a bed,
Then we will make it one instead.
(Many is the time the master has provided us with cardboard homes, but we'll have nothing to with such divisive human trickery.)
"But lo! A box left randomly about the place? T'is fair coveted a prize my liege. A home! Nay a castle!"
Thus it is that Millhouse has his castle
And is safely boxed in his keep today
He's ever been a naughty rascal
So our advice is - keep away!
Beware the whipping paw swipes out,
From his fortress portal.
Sure you'll get a vicious clout
And he might do something awful!(One might call it a window of opportunity.)
One slash of his mighty paw
Thy blood shall surely flow
His teeth you'll feel for sure
And he will not let go.
T'is said he has oil on the boil inside!
So, beware the ides of March.....Well it is February!
Fie! The scamp has just thrown up
In his keep!
Now there's another place,
He will not sleep!
Exit Herky: Stage right.
Herkspeare
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