Live entertainment!

Scene: The middle of the night during a warm, dry spell. In the castle scullery.

Enter through cat-cullis: Lord Millhouse with full mouth.

Millhouse (excited): Make haste, sire, for I have brought thee a fine diversion. Far better be it to play with the real thing than watch yon David Attenborough on the magic window!

(Lays down cute field mouse which promptly disappears under ye mechanical washer contraption.)

Millhouse: Damn! Now did I not tell ye to hurry, sire. Your sloth makes it necessary for us to play the long game. Heaven knows how much time will pass now ere my prize will come out to tease us with its whiskery snout.

Hercules: Pray, have patience Lord Millhouse, for I upon the bookshelf was musing of foreign parts when you in stumbled! I dreamed o'lands where mice swarm in merry abundance and all the two legged inhabitants are heavily bedecked in pouches of many exotic flavours. Where is this gift you bring on this pleasant night in Spring?

Millhouse: 'Tis under yon washer, sire. I'll leave that to you for I have many other things for to do.

(Leaves again via cat-cullis)

Hercules (To himself): Now here's a fine thing! A mouse in the house Lord Millhouse did bring. Who knows when I'll catch it if it should show? And what will be said when Two-legs gets to know?

Later.

Enter: Two-legs Pouch face

Two Legs Pouch face: Why, good day Sir Hercules. Slept you well I trust? A pouch you'll be wanting for feed you I must.

(Opens cupboard for pouch whereupon a mouse runs out.)

By the heavens, Sir Hercules. These pouches are fresh! I'd swear I've just seen a mouse there in the flesh.

(Chorus: I saw a mouse. Where? There on the stair! etc......)

Hercules: I know nothing of these goings on, Two-legs, I'm sure. Speak with young Millhouse, for he can say more.

Enter Millhouse with clear eyed, innocent expression on face.

Heavy atmosphere as breakfast is eaten in silence.

(To be continued)

Herk