Things Every Cat Should Know. A Diary of Musings, Views and Advice from a Wise Old Tom.

Alas! Poor Yorick!

(Continued from - Live Entertainment)
Scene: A week later in the castle scullery. Hercules is sat thoughtfully before his un-dolloped bowls.
Hercules (To himself): Seven days have passed and I'm yet to see; yon mouse young Millhouse brought to me. We called him Yorick the brave field mouse, whom Millhouse brought into this house. Me thinks perhaps he got away. Ay worse; alack! may've met his day.
A rustle. Enter Millhouse from behind the arras. (A plant that which we do not really possess!)
Millhouse: Alas! poor Yorick, I knew him, Hercules; a mouse of infinte zest, of most excellent flavour; I have borne him home a thousand times; and now he may've gone to warmer climes.
Enter crawling across the carpet; two beetles, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Rosencrantz: This tale we hear, 'tis sad to say, is getting more bizarre by the day!
Guildenstern: 'Neath the washer, dwelt old Yorick. I knew right then he might be for it!
Rosencrantz: Well, 'tis true. He's not there now. I'll wager he got out somehow!
Guildenstern (Producing coin):You're on, my friend, I'll take that bet. I'd say old Yorick lives on yet!
The pair beetle on under the fridgery closet.
Hercules: 'Tis evident Yorick took his chance; for towards the washer we do not glance.
Millhouse: Damn and fie! For my hard work, now under the washer he does not lurk. 'Twas your delay, Hercules, did make this trouble; find him I must and at the double
Enter Two-Legs Pouch Face.
Two-Legs Pouch Face: Now my Lords, why all the fuss? More food? Oh well, if I must...
A pouch is dolloped and the only sounds are the slurping of chops at jelly mounds.


Herkspeare


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