Food!
Difficult subject, this. You see we all like different things and not necessarily the same thing every day. Humans aren't very good at guessing what flavour we fancy at any particular time either. They plonk it down in front of you without asking what you fancy, then look cross when you walk off and sit with your back to them.
If you're not careful they'll go out once a week and catch your dinner by doing deals with other humans. Special offers, they call them! Well we wise cats look at the price paid before deciding whether to eat it or not and we can show them how to BOGOF! The really cheap stuff is very gluey and sticks your chops together. If it appears on a plate near you, 'walk!' I say.
When you're hungry, you can get fed by the following:
1)The irritating technique -Weaving about around a human's legs in the kitchen. (Meowing optional)
2)The patient technique -Sitting neatly in front of your bowl and looking appealing.
3)Interrupting human activity -Find where they're working and shove yourself under their nose. (And I do mean right under their nose!)
These 'ready' meals come in tins, pouches, little foil dishes and boxes. Each will have a picture of some eager looking mog slobbering over a kilogram of rich sustenance. Don't be fooled. It's not always as nice as it looks on the label. And whilst I've seen a fox running round the garden I've never seen a box or tin do it, so heaven knows where such creatures live. Always wondered why you never see 'Mouse' or 'Rat' flavour.
Of course, when you're young, you'll probably eat anything the humans serve up. As you get more experienced, don't be afraid to be picky. If you don't like Pilchard and Seafood, then hold out. Spread it out on the floor or let it go dark and dry in the bowl. I can assure you, you'll win in the end and grumpy human will stomp off to the supermarket muttering and return with an alternative.
Finally, always leave a few lumps stuck to the bowl to go dry, otherwise those lazy humans may forget to wash up.
Oh, and having had your fill, don't forget to wait for the big belly belch. No belly belch means you'll see your dinner again. This time on the carpet! (Look out! Here comes that yelling lady again!)
4 comments:
Hello handsome, my mum (Raelha) sent me - she said that I knew all your tricks anyway so it wouldn't do any harm. She was wrong though, as we (Beeps, Mahou and myself) only ever get dried food, unless they consider we deserve a treat, and then we only usualy get one can to share between the three of us - stingy humans. So I was wondering if you have any tips on getting canned food more often. The problem with leaving dried food is that it takes longer to go mouldy than it does for my tummy to demand food.
Herky says - the only way to get your diet changed is to turn your nose up at the dried stuff. It's tough, because you may be absolutely ravenous, but if you just sit there looking at it forlonly for a day or two and keep hanging around their legs, they eventually give in.
You could try lying down and dragging yourself around the kitchen floor by your front paws pathetically...best of luck to you, Beeps and Mahou.
Hi Herky, Thanks for the advice. As a youngster I'm always interested to read your wise words. What about bird flavoured food? I guess that's not very PC. Or how about spider or fly - they could be dried into crunchies. Insects are the only real live food I have managed to get my paws on so far, but now I am allowed out in the garden I've got my eye on something more substantial. Til then it's foil pouches for me. Milks.
Well, I have to say Daddy-Long-Legs (Crane Flies)have always been a favourite snack of mine. Sort of marzipan taste I feel. However, only a seasonal delicacy. And houseflies, well I trap them with my paw, but can't transfer them into my mouth without them zooming off! Very annoying!
If you're on foil pouches already, I'd say you've got your humans under the bobbly bits (Pussy fingers) good and proper!
Regards, Herky
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